wasafreak | Amnesia Plot [2 1/2 Weeks In]

Amnesia Plot [2 1/2 Weeks In]

Teddy hasn't hit his breaking point, because he can't break. Billy depends on him. Even if they're not what they should be, even if Teddy misses them every second of every day, Billy depends on him. He's his best friend, the only person he really knows on the island, at this point, and it's only been twenty days, not even three full weeks. So he hasn't hit his breaking point because that's not an option.

He's waiting for Billy, who went to the Compound to shower and get laundry and maybe food, and Teddy feels bad for not going with and loitering but...

He just needs a minute. He just needs a few minutes alone. Knees draw up and arms crossed over them, he tries to not to lose it, to breathe through the emotions he's been keeping under tightest wraps, but they're still threatening to rip out of him. He's so tired all the time, and he feels so damn lonely.

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At a certain point, things always even out. For Maxxie they do, anyway. He finds his balance, sooner rather than later, even if that means ignoring the craziest shit around him and clinging to the old standbys. He hates feeling off balance, lost and wavering, and he loses that when he focuses on nothing or everyone else.

Right now, that very moment... it's everyone else he's thinking of. Teddy especially. Shit's rough all over but even Maxxie can realize how hard this must be on Teddy. So he heads over to Billy and Teddy's place, hoping to find Teddy by himself but thinking that hanging out with the two of them might also make things easier, just for a little while.

When he sees Teddy on the porch, all curled up, he immediately thinks he should have done more and sooner. He can't imagine how tough this is, especially living with it.

"Hey, dude," Maxxie says softly, coming up to grab a seat beside Teddy. He lays a hand on his shoulder. "Alright?"

Teddy lifts his head, feeling a surge of gratefulness at the familiar face, but a wave of stronger upset follows. The sympathy in Maxxie's tone and the care in his touch- the fact that he's being touched at all- further loosen the knot of anxiety and fear and loneliness that's been winding itself up in Teddy's chest for over two weeks. His expression nearly breaks and he shakes his head once before ducking it, hiding his face for moment and pulling in a hard breath. Holding it, he drops his arms and sits up straighter, nodding, expression a little closer to being under control.

"Yeah," he says on the exhale.

"Yeah, 'm okay. You?"

His hand doesn't move. It stays on Teddy's back as he shifts, a warm and solid presence, until he settles. Maxxie rubs his shoulders idly, then lets his hand drop to his lap.

"Alright," Maxxie answers with a shrug. He's been better, but this isn't about him.

"Everything's fucked, huh?" It's an easy comment, his tone as unremarkable as though he were talking about the weather.

Teddy nods again, a few times.

"Mmn- yeah. Uh, yeah, it is." He's quiet a minute, chewing the inside of his lower lip before looking over at Maxxie.

"I just... I thought he'd have remembered, by now. I thought..."

Maxxie's gaze drops to the ground, looking at the wood panels thoughtfully as he nods.

"Yeah," he says. "All the stuff you guys have done, you'd think it'd come through. But it's not him, dude."

He lifts his gaze, sympathy written all over his face. "It's the island. It's the stupid magic stuff."

"No, I know," Teddy says immediately, talking fast, "I know it's not his fault. I just wish it- that I could do something, you know? That I could, could tell him or show him the right thing to-"

He stops, pressing his lips into a thin line and ducking his head again. He draws his knees up further and puts his arms across them, grinding his molars together. He doesn't want to cry in front of anyone, although there are probably worse people to do it in front of than Maxxie. Nevertheless, he presses his knuckles to his eyelids for a long moment, as if that will keep anything from slipping out.

"Sorry."

Edited 2012-06-25 04:08 (UTC)

He lets him be, letting him take that moment to steel himself if he thinks he needs it. Maxxie wouldn't think any less of him if Teddy broke down right this second, but it's not about what he thinks.

"S'alright."

He waits, and then he reaches out again, giving Teddy's shoulder a squeeze.

"It's hard. It fucking sucks. But he's still here, Teddy. It'll sort itself out. You just gotta hang on."

Teddy reaches over to rest his hand over Maxxie's, and offers him a strained but genuine smile.

"Yeah. And we're friends, already, I mean. It's great, how fast we became best friends. But he doesn't..." His gaze wavered and dropped.

"He doesn't think of me, as... the way he used to. So it's extra important I don't do anything that's become habit, you know, touch his hair, or his back or his hip, and I want to all the time. Bad enough we woke up in bed together, I can't freak him out any more. Friends is enough. For now. Anyway," he adds with a tired half grin, "I think he thinks you're cute."

Maxxie can't imagine showing that kind of restraint himself. He would move out, flirt his ass off to get things back to the way they were. Not touching the person he loved just sounds impossible.

He barks out a soft laugh, startled by Teddy's comment, and shakes his head.

"Only 'cause I sort of look like you," he quickly points out. "Only reason he's ever given me more than a friendly glance."

Teddy shakes his head a little, but the smile stays.

"There are definitely more reasons, but I'll take that. I will totally take that." He sighs and shoves his hands back through his hair, scrubbing them forward and back again, then shaking his head a little until it settles. He sniffles once, hard, deciding that he's done with crying, or almost crying.

"I really miss my bed. I've been couching it."

Even though he could, Maxxie's not gonna argue with him. It'd just sound like fishing for compliments, even if he didn't mean it that way, and the smile looks too good on Teddy's tired face to say anything that might spoil it.

"Oh, bummer," he says with feeling.

"...Is he here? Maybe you could sneak a kip when he's not looking."

Teddy's not sure what it says about his capacity for problem solving that he hasn't thought of this before.

"No, he's at the compound. That... might not be the worst idea."

He tilts his head with a cocky lift of his brow, a look saying that he knows he's a genius, thank you.

"I'll keep watch," he promises. "So he doesn't find you and it makes things awkward."

It could also make things better, Maxxie thinks. But he has a feeling that thought comes from the portion of brain that still believes some porn could happen in real life.

Teddy flushes miserably and ducks his head.

"Oh, God, you want awkward? He- we fell asleep on the couch last night, talking. And this morning, I woke with my arms around him, and- Jeeezus," he groans, shoving the heel of his palm against his forehead.

"I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna do something really stupid and cross a line or weird him out."

Edited 2012-06-27 04:15 (UTC)

It's sickeningly sweet, but more than that Maxxie feels a pang in his heart. It's terrible for Teddy and it reminds Maxxie of what he's missing out on, what he's lost.

"Sucks, dude," he sighs. "If you ever need space, you know, there's a free bed in my room. And hey, maybe he wouldn't be weirded out at all. I mean, clearly he has to like you."

Teddy nods a little, dropping his hand. If his eyes are a little red rimmed, well, there's nothing really for it.

"Thanks," he says quietly, then looks over at Maxxie and offers him a genuine smile.

"Not just for the offer. I'm, um, really, really grateful. Just for listening. So, thanks, Maxxie."

The corner of his mouth curves up in the tiniest of smiles. It doesn't feel like he's done much, but that's how it works. He's glad Teddy's gotten something out of it, and that smile's great payment.

"You're welcome," Maxxie says, squeezing his shoulder again. "Now come on. I think you need some fucking sleep."

"God," Teddy sighs, "yeah. Okay." He starts to push himself up, feeling, and looking, wearier now that he's owed up to it.

The motion comes to him naturally, something he doesn't even think about before -- or while -- he's doing it. He follows Teddy to his feet with hand still in place, and when they're both standing his hand slides over the line of his shoulders. He kneads the tight, tired muscles there.

"No offense, but you're a mess." Maxxie couples his words with a tone of concern and then a dry, short laugh.

The fact that that feels amazing does nothing to make Teddy more awake. He groans quietly, head falling forward, but a low, weak laugh bubbles up.

"I know. I really know."

In Maxxie's mind, there's two kinds of massages. There's the type with oils and candles and soft music, the kind Alcuin gives (used to give) that leads to something else. And there's the type that's like therapy. Like athletes get a rub down after a hard workout, or his parents used to give him a quick massage when his body was aching.

This is definitely the latter and Teddy definitely needs it.

"Come on," he says again, letting his hands drift away. "Face down. In bed. I'll give you a massage and then wake you before Billy gets back."

"Ah, thanks, Maxxie. You don't have to," Teddy says, grinning a little wryly as he shuffles into the house and starts up the spiral staircase.

"I must really look like a total wreck if you're handing out free massages."

"You do," Maxxie says, mustering up the most serious tone he can manage in the circumstances. "It's kind of scary. S'why I want your face down and away from me."

Teddy laughs for real at that, scrubbing a hand over his face, pushing his hair down over his eyes as far as it'll go.

"That's so cold," he mumbles, and collapses face first onto the bed.

Oh, it is so much better than the couch.

"Oh, no," he mumbled, into the bedspread, "'m not gonna be able to move. He's gonna think I'm like smelling the sheets or something and run screaming. Crap."

Snorting out a soft laugh, Maxxie moves to the side of the bed. But looking down at Teddy's shoulders, the angle's off. It's not a big deal, but it's not a big deal to Maxxie to climb onto the bed, straddling Teddy's thighs so he has the best access to his shoulders and back.

"If that's the weirdest thing you do, I think you're in the clear. Besides, I'll cover for you. Swear on a Bible that you aren't a sheet sniffer," he promises. "Tell me if I press too hard, yeah?"

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