Amnesia Plot [2 1/2 Weeks In]

[wasafreak]

Teddy hasn't hit his breaking point, because he can't break. Billy depends on him. Even if they're not what they should be, even if Teddy misses them every second of every day, Billy depends on him. He's his best friend, the only person he really knows on the island, at this point, and it's only been twenty days, not even three full weeks. So he hasn't hit his breaking point because that's not an option.

He's waiting for Billy, who went to the Compound to shower and get laundry and maybe food, and Teddy feels bad for not going with and loitering but...

He just needs a minute. He just needs a few minutes alone. Knees draw up and arms crossed over them, he tries to not to lose it, to breathe through the emotions he's been keeping under tightest wraps, but they're still threatening to rip out of him. He's so tired all the time, and he feels so damn lonely.

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[wasafreak]

Teddy slowly pushes him upright, absently settling a hand on Diana's head, which stops her from stirring and puts her right back to sleep. Like a charm.

"Is something wrong?" he asks, because even if Billy's endeavoring to seem casual and fine, Teddy knows he's not. He can always tell.

[halfscarlet]

Everything kinda makes sense now, especially how well Teddy knows him. Which makes not talking about this a little harder than Billy had anticipated.

"So...don't get mad or anything, but I just..." He holds up the iPad and gives Teddy a look that's pure apology and the rest of his words come out in a rush. "I wanted to take a picture of you and Diana sleeping, and I saw the others."

[wasafreak]

That earns a frown, just because Teddy's not sure how that's worth apologizing over, until he takes the iPad from Billy's hand and looks down.

He's got an arm slung across the front of Billy's hips and is leaning in, ducking his head to catch his mouth a warm, playful kiss. It's a little blurred, probably because Chase was laughing or giving them a hard time while he took it, and party because it's an unintentional action shot. Billy doesn't look surprised. teddy can see the place where his mouth turns up, the fact that he's smiling into the kiss, pretty clearly. It's a great picture, one of his favorite pictures.

"...oh," he says quietly, not looking up. Crap.

"...oh," he says again, because what the hell is he supposed to say. Sorry I've been lying to you for almost three weeks.

"Billy, I can... explain this."

It's pretty self explanatory, to be honest.

[halfscarlet]

"You...you don't have to," Billy answers. He doesn't want to make Teddy explain anything; he sort of gets why he never outright mentioned it, and Billy almost appreciates it. He freaked out waking up in bed with him, trying to live up to a whole relationship would have been too much.

"I get it. Why you didn't say anything."

[wasafreak]

It's not that he was hoping Billy would be angry, or upset, but he wouldn't have been surprised by it. He's not sure how he would have reacted, in Billy's place.

"Because everything was going to be weird and complicated enough," he says quietly, nodding a little. He swallows, pressing the button at the bottom of the screen to darken it.

[halfscarlet]

"Something like that," Billy agrees. Actually, it's exactly like that. Except Billy had spent his time confused, whereas Teddy spent it with a boyfriend who didn't even recognize him anymore.

It was like playing a game of who had it worse.

[wasafreak]

Billy is totally calm. Teddy's a bit thrown by it, but he knows he should just be grateful.

"Do you have questions?" he asks, because it's the only thing he can think to say other than I love you and also can I touch you a lot now.

[halfscarlet]

He has a ton of questions, starting with how they got together, but all Billy can think about is the fact that he's had a boyfriend god knows how long and he doesn't remember any of it. He doesn't know what his first kiss felt like, he doesn't know what it's like to have someone that close, he doesn't know if he's introduced Teddy to his parents or if he knows Teddy's parents, he doesn't know any of it, and he's supposed to.

He sets the iPad down on the bed between them, and gets out of the bed. "I need to..." Billy brushes hair out of his eyes and looks at Teddy, to make sure he knows he isn't freaking out, but it's just too much.

Okay, no, maybe he's freaking out a little. "I need to go. And...think."

[wasafreak]

So maybe not totally. This is twice in the span of a few hours that Teddy has desperately wanted to ask someone to stay and not known how. It doesn't feel any better with Billy than it had with Max.

"Sure," he says, voice a little strained, nodding a little unevenly.

"Sure, of course."

[halfscarlet]

He feels awful -- both in dealing with the realization and for what feels like abandoning Teddy, but Billy isn't sure he can do anything with Teddy sitting right there. He hadn't even been realizing how much he'd been hurting him and is still hurting him, right now.

"I just need some air. I'll be back soon," he promises, "and then we-- we can talk."

[wasafreak]

"Okay," Teddy says quietly, not quite able to rally a smile, reassuring or understanding or even hopeful.

"I'll be here."